Reminiscences: Our Point of Lowest Parental Responsibility


Three years ago, as you do, I started checking out the legal products you can get on ebay to get you a little high or whathaveyou. Blue Lotus Flowers, Dagga, Wild Lettuce, Salvia, Kratom.... and on and on. There are loads of these things and, in the spirit of adventure, I have tried them all. Most were very low on the fun and effect, in fact, most shamanistic herbs you get on ebay are unable to shamanize you anymore than two Kalms and a cup of Coco.

But there was this one stuff that I bought a sample of, enough for two people called, and remember this name, Hawaiian baby Woodrose. Tiny seeds.

We put the kids, who were like, 3 and 1, in bed, it was a Saturday night. We had a movie to watch. Probably even popcorn. And so we ingested....


I remember sitting there on the sofa cuddling watching the film. All was well. 

Then suddenly my domestic assistant started feeling nauseas. Soon after I did to. Soon after that we were both very very very nausueaus.

It wasn't long before we were both sprawled on the kitchen floor puking for an age into a big yellow rubble bucket (I saw this same bucket last night and it reminded me about the occasion,and thus was catalyst for this post). We were looking at each other, helpless and hurling. If there was a fire we probably would have been screwed. If guests arrived at that point, I don't think they would have stayed long. Maybe just 2 mins to call the social services.


Eventually the puking stopped - but it gets worse. 

We made out way slowly to bed. But we were feeling down. So down. Down and distant from each other and everything. I was cognant and rational, not disorientated...its hard to explain. Imagine being in a black space surrounded by nothingness and believing there was nothing else. We were both like this, holding each other so tight but it was so pointless, loveless, cold. I just cannot explain quite how horrible this state of mind was. 


The next day we got up and were peachy perfect, but blown away by that most worsest of psycoactive experiences. I emailed the seller saying "Why on earth would anyone buy these things??!!!"

He replied back, "I dunno, but I get a lot of repeat orders."

It takes all sorts.